A Look Back

I wrote this post on my old blog six years ago today.  I still think about when this happened from time to time and I still wish I could go back and change my reaction.  It is what it is though, right?  Thank goodness I am capable of evaluating individuals based on who they show me they are, and not the actions of people that look like them.

 December 22, 2005

Racism still alive...

...they just be concealin' it. Or not.

Sometimes I wish I see things in a different light while I'm in the moment. I can stop, correct and adjust as needed. It's hard to do that hours after the fact. Today is the perfect example.

Please keep in mind I work for a bank that does not have a casual dress code and I was coming directly from work.

My old boss -- one of the best ever I might add -- invited his current assistant and me to lunch. He is currently the president and on the board of a country club nearby, so common sense says we go there. We took separate cars because they were going back to work, and I was going home afterwards. Also, because I work in an entirely different department, and basically knew where I was going since I pass it everyday, there was no need for me to follow them.

Alas, I get there and I make a wrong turn. I saw a couple of half a million, million dollar houses and realized I should have made a right to get to the clubhouse. So I turn around and find nearest non-house looking building I see. I park off to the side of the round driveway (think hotel entrance) and go to the front desk. Here's the exchange almost word for word:

Her: Hi, can I help you?

Me: Yes, is this the clubhouse?

H: Yes, it is.

M: Great, I'm looking for (bosses name here), I'm having lunch with him this afternoon. Do you know how I can find him?

H: Well, I don't know if he's here or how you can find him.

M: Okay, do I just park around right over there (in the main parking lot)?

H: Yes, and you can see if he's in the dining room. You can walk around to the right and go in that way.

M: Thank you.

H: Have a nice day.

Seems perfectly harmless right? Well, it turns out that the dining room was about 50 steps away just down the hallway directly behind her. She sent me in the back way. I kid you not.

I went outside and parked my car. I walked past the golf shop...another entrance she could have sent me in. Past the service entrance where they fix the golf carts. When I came to the snack shop, which was on the corner of the building I went inside to make sure I was heading the right way. When I asked the girl where the dining room was she looked at me strangely. One of those, what are you doing back here looks. I didn't understand it then, but I get it now -- long after the fact.

She directed me up the stairs and through the door. Make a left, dining room is down the hall on your left.

Thank you very much. Off I go.

I go up the stairs. I go inside the door. What do I see first thing...the mens room. Actually, it said "Gentleman" but either way it was a room full of urinals. I make a left around the bend and down the hall and see the dining room. I was getting ready to see if there was a "main entrance" to the dining room when I saw JM. I went and had a seat with her and told her how I got lost in the neighborhood.

I thought it was odd that I could see rear of the desk at the entrance that I had come in -- you know, the clubhouses main entrance, but was so happy to be with my dining party that I relaxed and enjoyed my lunch.

It wasn't until I got home and told the story to Mr. A  that I realized what happened. It was so subtle and so helpful, I didn't realize I was being sent in the back way. God forbid we let the black girl in the front door.

No wonder that girl looked at me strange. She probably wanted to know why I didn't go in the front door. Having never been there before, I assumed that the dining hall would have a main entrance, and that it was kind of separate from the rest of the clubhouse. Nope. I got sent in the back like it's the 40's and colored people don't eat with the good white folks.

Hence the title of my post. Thank you Mr. West.

Racism still alive they just be concealin' it.

Be on the lookout. It happens every day.